The Four Kinds of Connections We Need

In the final episode of The Curiosity Shop, Brené Brown and Adam Grant draw on Adam’s new book, Vibe (out October 13), to explore how recognizing the differences between associates, allies, pals, and companions can help us better understand our connections. They unpack the pressure we put on relationships, the importance of being clear about what we want from them, and why a great interaction doesn’t always need to become an ongoing relationship. They also explore the idea of being on the same wavelength and the concept of “sonder,” the recognition that we can never fully know another person’s inner world. Along the way, Brené and Adam reflect on their own relationship, what they’ve learned from working together, and how their connection has evolved throughout The Curiosity Shop. Vibe – Adam Grant, 2026, adamgrant.net Tiny Experiments: How to Live Freely in a Goal-Obsessed World – Anne-Laure Le Cunff, 2025, Ness Labs How the Enneagram System Works – The Enneagram Institute, enneagraminstitute.com Give and Take – Adam Grant, 2013, adamgrant.net Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General's Advisory on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community – Vivek Murthy, 2023, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Social Connection Linked to Improved Health and Reduced Risk of Early Death – World Health Organization, 2025, World Health Organization US Trends in Social Isolation, Social Engagement, and Companionship—Nationally and by Age, Sex, Race/Ethnicity, Family Income, and Work Hours, 2003–2020 – Viji Diane Kannan, 2023, SSM – Population Health Talk, Trust, and Trade-Offs: How and Why Teens Use AI Companions – Common Sense Media, 2025, Common Sense Media What I Got Wrong About Connection – Adam Grant, 2026, Granted (Substack) How I Overcame the Fear of Public Speaking – Adam Grant, 2014, Psychology Today A Practical Guide to Building Taxonomies That Make Data Truly Useful to Your Organization – UserTesting, 2023, UserTesting Blog The Grapes of Wrath – John Steinbeck, 1939, Penguin Random House Friends – David Crane, 1994, NBC (IMDb) Vibe Quiz – Adam Grant, adamgrant.net DTR – Dictionary.com, 2018, Dictionary.com Vulnerability Is the Birthplace of Innovation, Creativity and Change: Brené Brown at TED2012 – Helen Walters, 2012, TED Blog Nicomachean Ethics, Book VIII – Aristotle, c. 350 BCE, The Internet Classics Archive (MIT) Friendship – Bennett Helm, 2021, Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy The Anatomy of Friendship – Robin Dunbar, 2018, Trends in Cognitive Sciences Let's Rumble – Brené Brown, 2019, brenebrown.com Similar Neural Responses Predict Friendship – Carolyn Parkinson, 2018, Nature Communications Single-Serving Friends (Fight Club) – Uploader unknown, YouTube Wharton Professor Adam Grant Knows How to Build Stronger Bonds at Work – Aman Kidwai, 2025, Newsweek Mistakenly Seeking Solitude – Nicholas Epley, 2014, Journal of Experimental Psychology: General Social Interactions and Well-Being: The Surprising Power of Weak Ties – Gillian Sandstrom, 2014, Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin Learning to Talk to Strangers – Gillian Sandstrom, 2022, SPSP Character & Context blog The Power of High-Quality Connections – Jane Dutton, 2003, Positive Organizational Scholarship (Berrett-Koehler) Flow and Happiness – Joachim Krueger, 2015, Psychology Today Basking in Reflected Glory: Three (Football) Field Studies – Robert Cialdini, 1976, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology Brené and Adam on What They Will Never Agree On – Brené Brown, 2026, The Curiosity Shop (YoutTube) Do Parasocial Relationships Fill a Loneliness Gap? – Heidi Godman, 2024, Harvard Health Publishing Sonder – John Koenig, The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows Beautiful New Words to Describe Obscure Emotions – John Koenig, 2016, TEDxBerkeley Atlas of the Heart – Brené Brown, 2021, brenebrown.com Sonder Playlist - The Best of Sonder – Revive Music, YouTube Awe, the Small Self, and Prosocial Behavior – Paul Piff, 2015, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology The Emotions You've Felt but Never Named with John Koenig – Adam Grant, 2025, ReThinking (Apple Podcasts) The Emotions You've Felt but Never Named with John Koenig (transcript) – Adam Grant, 2025, ReThinking (TED Audio Collective) Developmental Changes in the Relation between Youth Disclosure and Parenting Behavior: A Cohort-sequential Analysis – Sara Goldstein, 2023, Journal of Youth and Adolescence The Development of Children's Knowledge About Inner Speech – John Flavell, 1997, Child Development 9 Words for Types of Parenting – Merriam-Webster, Merriam-Webster Wordplay The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters – Priya Parker, 2018, Riverhead / Penguin Random House The Liking Gap in Conversations: Do People Like Us More Than We Think? – Erica Boothby, 2018, Psychological Science Can Conflict Actually Make Our Relationships Stronger? with Priya Parker (video) – Brené Brown, 2026, YouTube VIBE Tour – Adam Grant, adamgrant.net Adam Grant – Dallas – Dallas Museum of Art Arts & Letters Live – Etix, 2026, Etix ReThinking with Adam Grant – Adam Grant, 2021, TED Audio Collective The Enneagram: A Systematic Review of the Literature and Directions for Future Research – Joshua Hook, 2021, Journal of Clinical Psychology Brian R. Little – Brian Little, brianrlittle.com Nicomachean Ethics, Book VIII – Aristotle, c. 350 BCE, The Internet Classics Archive (MIT) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices